Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Diagnosis

I never thought it was possible, but we have concluded that we have a bad bout of Culture Shock.

After a most interesting introductory week to Amsterdam, we have learned a few things NOT to do, at all costs while in the Dam.  I share these, not as a criticism, but as a lesson we have learned, and hope others will too.

Talk about US of A:
  They don’t want to hear it.  They despise hearing about it.  Dutch don’t think America is awesome, and they never will.  They sorta like Obama, and that’s it.

Talk about Wal-Mart:
 Huge mistake, its like talking about changing old people’s diapers.  You just don’t do it.

Speak 5 decibels above a whisper while walking in the streets: 
Tattoo the American flag to your forehead and start shooting your pistols, because that accent is DEATH.

Say no to a drink:
  If they’re-a- offerin, you’re-a-drinkin’  It doesn’t matter what time of day or night, you are just plane rude if you turn down alcohol from someone.

Fill up a shopping cart at the grocery store: 
 Nobody is stocking up for the next zombie apocalypse, they are just buying their meals for the next 2-3 days and thats it.

Ask why there aren’t certain amenities that you are used to in the States:
  They don’t have ‘em because they don’t need ‘em.  American’s are lazy and need machines to do all their household chores, and by asking why you don’t have an oven makes you 100x more American than you ever thought. Errr :/

  Not everything is “Totally Super Duper Awesome!!” In Europe there’s no need to add in extra words to describe something.   Just tell it like it is and stop sugar coating it! God on a Wheel!

And, this is just week 1.  I’m sure there will be more to come.

Dear Amsterdam- We are very sorry, and we will try to tone it down a tad!

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